Gaining strength during difficult times

Well, I'm still here, and still taking it easy.

My back is doing better. I'm doing anything I can to not aggravate it, but then there's things like grocery shopping and vacuuming/mopping which really make it sore. I'm paying more attention to how I move and trying to correct any non back friendly movements. Sometimes we move in certain ways just out of habit and may not even realize it.

I ran 2 miles yesterday morning. Got the abdominal cramp on my right side again, but it was much less intense than before. It was definitely runnable, nothing like the crippling pain that forced me to stop running and limp 2 miles back to my car just a few weeks ago. Then I did some yoga - skipped over alot of the more intense poses and instead focused on the stretching and back friendly poses. If something hurt I didn't do it or just did another pose instead.

I had another adjustment at the chiro today, and also got a sheet with my official diagnosis. The 2 main things are Sciatica and Sacroiliac Joint Dysfunction. They sound scary but are actually pretty common. I've read alot of running blogs and articles, and see people mention Sciatica and their SI joints. So I'm relieved to see that it's more common than I originally thought. And I think I've realized that part of the problem might lie in the fact that I haven't focused on abs very much. I kind of think ab exercises are overrated and don't do much for changing your body, despite all the hype surrounding them. I've focused more on running and arm/leg training. Of course I do core work, but not really anything specific to just my abs. Some ab exercises hurt my lower back and make it pop, like the kind where you lie on your back and hover your legs just off the ground. Can't do those without massive back pops, so I just gave up on doing them. Anyway, I have learned that I do need to work on my abs, and I now know what stretches I need to do to strengthen my back.

Also got a bit of bad news today. My husband is in the Army, and thus our souls are bound unto them. The phrase "needs of the Army" is thrown around alot, and basically means that when it comes to your job, your hours, your location - you do whatever they tell you to. For a few weeks now we've known that my husband's schedule would change, and a couple of possible outcomes. We hoped for the best, but alas it did not happen. He got stuck with a Wed-Sat schedule. So this means... he can no longer come to races with me. I now race alone. Basically I don't have many friends, because we're the kind of couple who does everything together - even after 10 years. And the friends I do have are not into fitness. I have never been the kind of person who needs a large social circle for emotional support. I only need that one person. And now he can't be there with me. It sucks, but I suppose it could have been worse. So far he's still on the day shift. And his schedule will change again, it's not like he is stuck with it for the next year. Everyone pays their dues I guess. And above all, he's here in the same house with me. That is not something to be taken lightly when you live this life!

My husband has been so supportive of me and come to all my races, and is still supportive of me even if I go alone. He says he absolutely does not want me to give up. I am not going to stop racing even if it means I do it alone. Several times in the past I tried to "get in shape", then when I lost enough inches to feel good about myself I always stopped, and the weight came back every time. I used to make excuses if I didn't feel like working out. This is different. I started this quest because I was tired of the yo yo. This will be the last time I "get in shape" because I will stay that way from now on. I can't let injuries and schedule changes become excuses for stopping this quest. I am sure that many people out there wouldn't race if it meant they had to do it alone, without any friends or family to be spectators. Sure, I might want someone to take pictures of me or hold my keys, but that's easy - ask someone to take a picture of me real quick, keys in my spi belt. The real challenge is the emotional support. Seeing everyone else out there with their friends and family. But I can do it. This is just another thing that will make me a stronger person.

Depending on how I feel, I might run a 5k this weekend at 7:30 am by myself. I will run a 5k next month, and then go to North Carolina to complete the Warrior Dash by myself. And I have many races I want to sign up for in the fall. My husband's schedule is not a factor that will hold me back anymore. Sure I would love to have him there with me, but I will not back out simply because he can't.

I will not stop being active, even if my back is injured and I have to go it alone. Giving up is not an option.