Weekend Cleanse - Epic Fail

This weekend I decided to try out a 2 day cleanse. I have been curious about the idea for awhile but have always heard so many mixed things. Some say they work wonders, you lose weight, feel better, look better, etc. Others say they are complete bull, as your body naturally rids itself of toxins and does not need "cleansing". I figured this was one of those things I just had to try for myself and form my own opinion. My husband got on board for this little experiment too.


This particular cleanse interested me because it's really just loading your body up with healthy foods. I have no opinion of Dr. Oz as I do not watch his show. I know that these foods are healthy and good for me (points there), but I also know that at the end of the day, he is on tv and therefore anything he says or does is to generate ratings (minus points there). But once again, bottom line is I know these foods are healthy for me. I can't lose, right?

So in a nutshell - you go buy the groceries on the list, make the food, abstain from caffeine, drink plenty of water/get enough sleep. Eating only fruits and veggies, the only grains came in the form of quinoa once a day. No dairy or other grains.

This is the breakfast here - a quinoa bowl with prunes and rice milk. This was actually pretty good. With my breakfast I also had a cup of detox tea. The cleanse called for dandelion root tea, but this was the closest thing I could find (It has dandelion root in it plus a bunch of other herbs)

This here's the snack drink. You can have this throughout the day whenever you feel hungry. It's pineapple, kale, cucumber, mint, and lemon. The problem here is that this required a juicer and I don't have one. I do have a blender so I figured I could just make it as a smoothie. After all, getting the plant fibers in your drink is much more beneficial than just drinking the juice. Well, it resulted in a very... chewy... drink. Kale doesn't blend too well. The taste wasn't too bad, it was just the chewy/kale pieces stuck in your teeth that made it less than appetizing. Nevertheless, I gulped/chewed it down.

At about this point I started feeling kind of weak. I could feel the telltale signs of my sugar starting to drop. My usual late morning snack is some fat free Greek yogurt (protein source) so this was quite a change of routine for me. But this was something more. My muscles felt weak and sore. I also felt foggy headed, but I attribute that to not having caffeine - I usually have 1-2 cups of coffee in the morning, but that is it, my total caffeine intake for the day. Still, definitely noticed the absence of my coffee.

I wanted to take a nap, lie down, or something. But I decided to take my bath and see how I felt after that. The cleanse suggests taking an epsom salt bath to help flush out toxins. This part I liked alot! The epsom salt bath felt so good! I think I will start doing this on a regular basis. It's supposed to soothe sore muscles too

After the bath I felt a little better and decided not to nap. An hour or so later I made our lunch - a blueberry banana smoothie with almond milk and chia seeds. This was good too. I'm not fully hooked on almond milk. Alot of people seem to like it, but to me it tastes alot like peanut butter (which I don't like) but I am slowly starting to make friends with almond milk. I felt pretty good, but we were about to go out on some errands and take our dog to the park, so I took a snack with me just in case I did have a sugar crash (Larabar, only 2 ingredients in the whole bar - dates and cashews) but I did not end up needing it.

While we were out I stopped in Target to pick up something and ended up checking out the athletic department. They have decent cheap stuff. Well there was an extra mirror in the dressing room so you could see your back as you tried stuff on. This is the first time I've seen my full backside in a long time, apart from twisting my head around to look. Man, what a difference! I have lost so much weight off my butt, legs, hips, and even my upper back a little bit. Shoot, I was in there trying on medium tops! They were tight, but I normally wear L or XL since I have a bigger upper body and chest build. I didn't end up buying anything but I'm glad I tried stuff on because that was really cool to see.

So we went to the park next. It was not my plan to do my long run this weekend because of this cleanse, but my husband wanted to run a bit with our dog so I did manage to do a little bit of jogging. Even did a short little sprint. Definitely felt a difference in my energy level, my legs felt like stone blocks. But I still enjoyed being outside with husband and dog. I did have my homemade honey/lemon "gatorade" water afterward too.

This was the dinner, a vegetable broth. The cleanse instructions don't say whether or not you are supposed to eat the vegetables or just the broth? I tried to eat the veggies but I just couldn't. I am still very veggie intolerant. Growing up I was a carb lover who never really ate veggies, and was never forced to. So I didn't develop that taste and love for them, and as a result I'm having to adjust to them now in my adult life. I am doing pretty good, eating things I wouldn't have dreamed of eating 3 years ago. I now love spinach, bell peppers, and onions, I can tolerate carrots, mushrooms, green beans, and celery. I'm trying to make sure I mix veggies in with my meals. But this broth. It had cabbage in it, which I don't know if I have ever had in my life! Also it was very heavy on parsley as you can see, and I think over the last month I've realized I do not like parsley at all. It's so bitter. The broth itself was actually quite tasty, I just couldn't eat the vegetable pieces. I'm not quite there yet unfortunately.

That was day one. Rinse, repeat. The day two foods are exactly the same.

I woke up this morning feeling much "cleaner" inside. But I felt like shit. Still very weak, muscles sore, low energy, it just hurt to move basically. I've also been pretty cranky and moody. I did lose 3 lbs since the day before - putting me at 169.0! Not sure if this will be regained, but I don't believe it is all "water weight" as I consistently weigh in first thing in the morning right after using the bathroom. I didn't increase or decrease my water intake from what I normally do. My scale also accounts for water weight and it was unchanged. So I guess the ultimate weight loss remains to be seen - I mean it's not like I'm going to go eat a huge pizza after the cleanse or anything.

As today wore on I just started feeling worse. More sugar drops. Energy levels low. Food cravings were setting in. After we had our lunch we watched a movie until he ended up deciding to take a nap. We were originally gonna go to the park with the dog again, but that never happened. I fell asleep too. I woke up around 4 and in a very, very scary place.

I felt like CRAP. I could hardly even sit up straight. I felt dizzy, weak, nauseous, shaky, and cold. And I knew exactly what it was - low sugar. I knew what I had to do to fix it. Thought about it for awhile, but in the end I knew how ill I really was, and that after 1.5 days of my blood sugar going all over the place, I would only feel worse.

I bowed out. I don't know what the hell happened - everyone always says hypoglycemics should eat fruits, vegetables, low carbs, low sugar, etc. Maybe it was just too much sudden change for my body to handle all at once. I eat fruits, veggies, lean meats, low fat dairy, and whole wheat carbs. I don't eat a lot of sugar - I choose things with as little sugar as possible and don't add any of my own. That's what I have found works for me and what my body is used to. And I'm sure people would say "oh that's just your body detoxing"/whatever, blah blah. I know my body and when my sugar is low. It's not healthy for your blood sugar levels to be all over the place like that. I don't want to do that to my body unnecessarily. So I ate a whole wheat tortilla and felt better after 5 minutes. I still feel a little weak and shaky but it's much better after eating the whole wheat. I no longer feel like death.

I hate feeling so limited. Usually I live with hypoglycemia and do ok, but this experience actually made me a little upset and emotional about having this condition, something I haven't really felt in a long time. But in the end I have to remember that I am different. I have to listen to my body and know what it needs to keep my sugar levels normal. This weekend made me realize that my body likes a balance of foods - fruit, veggies, low fat dairy, whole grains, and lean meats. All of those things together will keep my sugar balanced 95% of the time, and if I have a crash it is usually my own fault for not eating when I need to. People say that "raw diet, paleo diet, etc helped cure my hypoglycemia" I just don't see that happening for me. I feel more likely to pass out  from my sugar going too low. Bottom line, it's just not right for me.

Final cleanse opinion.
I think this is a good program for people trying to jump start a healthy eating habit or a weight loss program. Personally, I never felt that "energy" people say they feel after a day or two of cleansing. Then again I may be a special case due to the whole blood sugar thing. I did feel "cleaner" inside after a weekend of eating high fiber foods. Really, I think the "awesome" feeling happens more in people who normally eat Mcdonalds every day or something. I generally eat pretty healthy already so I didn't really notice much in the way of how much "better" I felt. Obviously, I actually felt worse! Again, I'm a special cookie here. Ultimately, I am glad I tried this. My curiosity is sated. Do I feel like cleansing/detoxing is right for me? Not really. It is kind of a big inconvenience for the end payoff - alot of prep work, not having energy to go out and do stuff, trips to the bathroom, etc. I have learned that any type of restricted diet is probably not suitable for me. I have different needs, and thankfully I listened to my body and stopped a few hours early. I think maybe in the future I may just do a "healthy weekend" and keep it to whole foods only, but customize them for my dietary needs. This was a good experience in that regard - it was 2 days of nothing but healthy food, which is always good.

Wow, this ended up being a rather beastly post. I'll bid my farewells now, and go back to eating my normal balanced diet tomorrow. This week will be lots of running and strength training, with a 4 mile run on saturday!

Update - 2 hours later and I STILL feel so much better after eating that one little wheat tortilla! I don't feel my blood sugar dropping yet, as it was with the meals I ate during the cleanse.