Update

It's been way too long since I've posted here...

I've really fallen out of a routine of working out. I feel horrible about it... yes, I am dealing with an injury which is the only reason I scaled back in the first place... but I know I can do better. Life has just kind of gotten the better of me lately. This week especially has been very busy. I haven't even had time to go grocery shopping yet, and as a result I have been eating way more bad food than I should. I feel like a slob right now.

Finding a new routine has been hard. It seems I have to go "all or nothing" when it comes to fitness. I'm not very good at "sometimes" working out, because then it's just so much easier to find excuses to not do it. I find myself saying asking - what's the point? I am trying to find my motivation again... it's just hard when I'm still struggling with this back and hip pain. Yes - STILL struggling, even despite not doing much of anything. It's a different kind of pain when I'm not running... it seems to be more in my hip and less in my lower back these days. I am pretty sure it has to do with my sacroiliac joint. The good news is I finally start physical therapy next week. I am praying they can fix me and get me back to normal, or close to it. I hope they can just pop my joint or whatever it is back into place.

The last 2 weeks I've been working out sporadically... and although my weight has hovered around the same 156-158 range, I know that if I don't find a way to stay motivated I will start slipping, and slowly but surely all this progress I have made will start to dissolve. I need to force myself to stay active. Right now I am thinking maybe get up early 1 week day and run 2 miles, then run 2-3 on saturdays. Then strength train 1-2 days a week and do yoga 1-2 days a week. So 5-6 days a week of working out. These 2 weeks of little to no activity have made me feel like a sad blob... yet they have taught me the importance of consistently scheduling time to do SOMETHING... I need to remember that it won't be what I'm used to, the pace will be slower, but the point is to DO it. Or else I'll go insane... and get fat. Lol



On to some good news...

We took a day trip to the beach last sunday, which was my first opportunity to get into my bikini since losing 40 lbs. I felt great... I kept bothering my husband to take pictures of me, simply because it's the first time I've felt that confident and good about myself.

We went to Tybee Island, GA which is a beach outside of Savannah, about 3 hours from where we live. I had heard about it and thought it might make a nice little day trip. It's a small place and was pretty crowded with tourists, so our overall feeling of it was "meh". Our favorite beach will always be Outer Banks NC... but since we live 8 hours from it now, those visits will be fewer and far between. So we'll be checking out the southern beaches, and hopefully one day make a trip to FL.


The fact that I'm willing to put a bikini picture of myself on the internet says alot, I think. I am normally not the type to flaunt myself in skimpy clothes, preferring instead to cover myself. But now, I am not afraid to show myself when appropriate, like at the beach. I may not be perfect, but I am a long way from where I once was, and I have finally reached a place where I am content with how I look. My belief is that we should not strive for perfection, but for a healthy self image.

Side note...It's pretty apparent I haven't been to the beach in awhile. Obviously I've been outside in T shirts way too much. That southern sun'll do it!






Another bit of exciting and awesome news is that the NC Warrior Dash is where I'll be headed on saturday! I was originally going for the GA dash back in april, but that didn't happen due to my back pain. Luckily they let me transfer. I heard the GA dash was at a new venue this year and was a pretty poorly planned event... but from what I understand the NC dash will be at a venue they have used in the past. Good, I hate being a guinea pig. This race is in the Charlotte area, about 3 hours away from me - not much of a change there, the GA dash was all the way across the state, also about 3 hours away. I'm looking forward to getting muddy again. Apparently it is not nearly as hard as Spartan, more like a fun run. Plus, it's Warrior Dash ... do I want to play Viking for a day? Hell yes!

Well, that's all for now I suppose. More to come after WD, and I will start posting more... I have to keep holding myself accountable, no matter what.

Armed Forces Day 5k

It's Armed Forces day!

A few months ago I saw that there was to be an Armed Forces Day 5k, so of course I had to sign up. Plus it was at Blanchard Woods park - which, before my injury, was a place I had really wanted to check out since I was looking for new running spots. Having never been I didn't really know what to expect. It's a park here in my county which has some soccer fields and I think it may have had football/baseball fields too. Then there's a trail that goes through the woods that surround the park. But more on that later.

I got there nice and early, with plenty of time to snag a pre run picture...

My goal for today was just to try my best. I wasn't really sure what that would mean for me, since I have not been able to train consistently for the past 2 months due to my back problems. 

I was out there by myself today since my husband now works on saturdays. But I got a chance to talk to plenty of other runners out there. Oh, this was funny too. There were maybe 150 people at this race. Right before the race started the announcer asked how many military members were there. A whole bunch of hands shot up. Then he asked how many spouses there were. I raised my hand and looked around - mine was the ONLY hand up. I was so surprised I was the only one... then again, I'm just gonna come out and say this - most military spouses I have personally seen are not exactly "fit". Anywho. The race started in the soccer field, then we entered the woods for the trail portion. This wasn't a "nature" trail, it was one of those trails that had gravel and decent sized rocks.. not my favorite, but my foot only rolled one time due to stepping in a hidden hole, and I was able to save it quickly. 

So. This course. THE HILLS! Oh man. Before the race started I had heard some people talking about how hilly the course was. They weren't lyin. I would say this was not one of my better runs. The hills wore me out, my stomach has been upset since yesterday, and I got that abdominal cramp that has been showing up since my back problems started. I took more than a few walk breaks. Plus I have just been out of practice in general. This seriously felt like the longest 5k of my life. There was one point where my motivation got pretty low. But I snapped myself out of it and hustled on. I reminded myself that I was out there running with super fit military members - even OUT running some of them. I had to show them that spouses can do it too! By the time the finish line was in sight I knew I would not PR. I wasn't expecting to, but kind of secretly hoped I would! 

28:13 was my time

Almost exactly 1 minute slower than my PR. Mind you, my PR is from January, was on a flat course vs today's hilly trails, and the fact that I'm not in top shape right now. So... I'd say considering all that, I did pretty damn good. Heck, I'm happy with it.

Me in my car, post run. 

I liked this race alot... everyone was in good spirits and it was all for a good cause. It benefited the Augusta Warrior Project which helps veterans. And I'm sure that when I'm in better running shape I will come back out to run these hills again...despite the fact that they make me want to die! Hill training is needed in my life.

Race shirt, complete with a paracord bracelet. I also won a raffle drawing for a gift card to Bonefish!

Finally, this is a flyer for a race I want to do in the fall. It also supports our military and has a 10k option, which hopefully I will be fit to do by then. Plus it's on my birthday! What better way to celebrate a birthday than with racing?

Getting by

So I start physical therapy on the 6th. The good news is the PT clinic at the Army hospital has really good hours (or so I've been told) so my PT doesn't have to interfere with my job! Yay!

My pain is slightly better, but there are spells when it's still kinda bad.

This morning I weighed 156.8 ...sooo very close! I think when I start lifting again and working on building muscle my weight will probably climb up again slightly, but I'm not too worried. I'm not on any time limit here and I want to be strong and toned.

Tomorrow is Armed Forces day. And I'm signed up to run the Armed Forces 5k in Evans. I'm looking forward to it despite my injury. I had signed up for this race before all this mess happened, and I'm gonna go out there tomorrow and give it everything I got. I'm apprehensive, but at the same time I am really looking forward to racing again.

Hurdles

I'm sitting in my car right now during my lunch break. Just didn't feel like being around people. This is giving me a nice chance to let me unwind a little.

I'm still not exercising. At the moment i am in the process of trying to get my physical therapy stuff worked out. I am fighting to see a civilian provider because i don't want to take any more time off of work. Going to the army hospital is a huge inconvenience for me. Especially if i have to go several times a week for many weeks. That is my current battle.

I can't wait for things to get better. I'm not exercising at all right now and I'm still in pain. The pain is better but it's not going away.

I'm signed up for the Armed Forces 5k this weekend, from before all this mess happened. I still plan on running it, provided I'm not in massive amounts of pain. It's just a 5k so i should be fine.

I have become kind of lax with my diet in the midst of all this. So I'm cleaning that up again and cutting calories once more. I'm still about 4 lbs away from my original goal weight. My plan is just to eat right and see if i lose anything. Since I'm not exercising i still need to be accountable. I can't let this become an excuse for letting myself go

Maybe in another week or 2 I'll go back to some low impact stuff. Just going to wait and see.

The plan..

Today I managed to get an appointment with a doctor. I was hoping to see my PCM (primary doctor) because she is super knowledgeable and has a great way of explaining things. Sadly she's pretty hard to get an appointment with so I had to see someone else today. The doctor seemed surprised that I'm still struggling with pain after seeing the chiropractor for a month, and agreed that it's probably not the right avenue of treatment for me. She did a quick visual check to see if one of my legs is possibly longer than the other. My knees and ankle bones line up pretty perfectly and she did not see any visible difference, but it's still possible a very slight difference could be throwing me off. It's hard to measure. I went and got some x rays while I was there. She will review them and follow up with me. It will be interesting to see how they turn out after a month with the chiropractor, and if her interpretation will be similar to his. Also the x rays were taken with me in different positions than my first ones. This doctor thinks yes, it is probably my sacrum causing all of this. And what was most disheartening to hear... although I've come to suspect this recently... is I will probably have back problems for the rest of my life. Hell, I've had general low back pain since I was 18. This probably would have happened one way or another.

The plan now is to start physical therapy. I'll be getting a referral in a few days, and I can choose an off post PT and it'll be covered by my insurance. I found one that is close to my work and has good hours. Since I work an 8-5 job, and everything else on earth is 8-5, having a PT that will be open until 7 will be super helpful. I don't need to miss any more work due to this shit. Hopefully this will be my magic ticket... and that they can help me figure out how running fits into this equation.

Lately I have been googling "runners with SI joint issues" there are few... but for the ones I have found, it's a constant struggle for them. But they are still out there running, so that's a good sign right? The doctor said I should be able to manage 1-2 easy miles of jogging here and there. Not really what a person who runs 7 miles wants to hear, but hey, what can ya do. At least it's something.

I am taking the rest of the week off from exercise. The pain has been pretty bad today. Sitting, walking, anything. I woke up with pain today which has only happened maybe 10% of the time. Right now it's just ice, ibuprofen, and back stretches. Seems to be helping as tonight I'm not in quite as much pain. Tonight I'm going to buy some supplements... ginger or turmeric for inflammation. I don't want to keep eating ibuprofen, trying to keep this as natural as possible here.

My workout plan for the time being will strictly be muscle work - arms, legs, abs, total body everything. I will probably do yoga twice a week, but keep it to back friendly stuff only. No warrior 3's or half moons! Also I will try to walk every night so I don't go completely crazy with movement withdrawals!

Today I saw something I almost never see in my area - a car with a Spartan Race sticker, and then 5 minutes later a girl with a Spartan Race shirt, both on the way to my appointment to try and fix my broke ass self. Made me jealous... although I am still doing Warrior Dash in 3 weeks, back pain be damned! This will not become my white whale!

Defeated.

Sigh.

(To anyone who may be reading, this is about to get super depressing and self centered. But I have to vent)

It's been about a week since I started exercising normally again. Ran 10 miles. At first my back pain was unchanged, but around sunday it started to slowly get worse. This morning I got up early for a before-work run and it was just bad. My back actually hurt during running. Not a good sign. Only did 2 miles, then came back in to stretch and ice it. I thought I was better, but I guess not.

Today I thought long and hard about this.

I have got to call it quits until this gets resolved.

I feel like no one has any idea how hard this is. 8 months ago I started running. Something I have always been bad at. Something I did not HAVE to do. But I did it. Got better at it. Began to crave it, even. All just to have it ripped away from me. I can't help but question why. Yeah, injuries are common... I'm not the only one, there have been many before and many will come after me who deal with the exact same thing. But it just feels like, I'm trying to do everything the right way... be healthy, active, and strong... yet here I am, sidelined. In the same place as so many of the bed ridden, pill popping, lazy and overweight Americans. This is just ...insanely frustrating.

I cried alot today. This hurts my pride. It sucks. But I need to swallow my pride, take the L now, and get through recovery. Otherwise I'll just end up injuring myself worse, and possibly permanently - if I haven't done so already.

My plan is to try and make an appointment with a doctor at the Army hospital. They may try to diagnose me there, or maybe they will just refer me to a specialist. Physical therapy might be an option, I've heard good things about it. I don't think chiropractic is going to help me a whole lot. It's a slow process, plus it's costly as my insurance does not cover it. I also feel like the chiro isn't able to answer my questions and help me with my specific situation. So I'm going to be seen by a real doctor, get their opinion, and then hopefully receive some care which my insurance can cover - because it's starting to look like I'm in this for the long haul. I need the right care that won't break my bank.

Since I am signed up for a 5k on the 18th, and Warrior Dash (attempt #2, mind you) on the 1st, I will still do those. But I won't be running or signing up for any new races until I'm pretty confident I am healed. That's not to say I won't run an easy mile every now and again... just not 3x a week like I was doing. I will continue to lift weights and do back friendly yoga poses. I walk alot too and plan on keeping that up. I'm going to be so freaking restless without running... I gotta have an outlet somewhere!

I feel... insanely down, and defeated right now. But I have to do what's best for me long term. I can't let my pride get the better of me and run through the pain, only to wind up severely injured later on. My husband sat with me this afternoon through my whole crying moping mess, and as always helped bring me back into reality a little bit. He's dealt with running related injuries as well, and they affect his job since he's in the military and has to pass PT tests. They affect whether or not he gets promoted. While it's harder on an emotional level to become attached to something on your own free will and no longer be able to do it, for him it is quite stressful. So that kind of helped me realize maybe my situation isn't so bad. I'm not the only one, even if it feels like it.

This might be a pretty long road. I need some time to process all of this and come to terms with it. But my first step will be trying to see a doctor and pursuing the next avenue of treatment.


So for now I say... Running - farewell... until we meet again...

2 steps forward, 1 step back

After a week of being fully active once again, I am taking a break today.

Last week went ok. 7 miles total, strength training, and yoga. My back is hurting slightly more, but I guess that's to be expected as I get back into the swing of things. Also I may have overdone it on the yoga. I'm pretty sore all over from yesterday's session, so maybe the hip pain is just amplified since my legs are sore. Anyway, I did the entire 90 minutes and it's the Ashtanga variety which is pretty fast and intense. But at the same time alot of the yoga poses are supposed to be good for the back. Maybe next week I'll dial back on the intensity just a teeny bit? I'm also thinking about buying a cushion for my seat that will support my lower back, since I really believe sitting is the culprit. It seems the pain is most intense when I am sitting. 

I just got back from the chiropractors and I can really feel the effects of the adjustment right now. I am not supposed to do any exercise on an adjustment day so I will take today off. Then for this week I'll be going back up to 3 miles x2 days, then 5-6 miles on saturday. Strength training x2 days, and yoga x1. And back stretches. I'm going to do my best to work through this injury while staying active. Everything I have read about SI joint pain and sciatica says to exercise more. 

It's frustrating. But I've just gotta keep moving along through this. I can't let myself get discouraged. This will probably be a slow recovery. All I can do is work with it.

Anyhooo...here's this from yesterday 

May 5th - Goals

Fill this medal rack!!!!!

Building it back up

I'm really glad the weekend is here. Not only was april hard on me physically, it was a rough month at work too. It was my first month doing some new processes and its very complicated. It was a major learning experience complete with screw ups on my part, but I'm trying not to feel too badly about it because those who came before me screwed up at first too. And once I know the right way to do something, you don't have to tell me twice. Yesterday I was so mentally burned out after a very busy week. I'm so glad to be exercising again, it's really making me feel better despite all the stress. Exercise is a great stress reliever for me, and the sense of accomplishment that comes along with dominating a workout is a great mood booster.

May 3rd - Today's workout

Plain and simple. No big machines, just weights, a pullup bar, and my own body. Maybe some resistance bands if I'm feeling crazy

I just got back from my 4 miles. I'm amazed at how cool it is here still... 55 degrees and cloudy? However, please don't misunderstand... I am not looking forward to the sweaty hell that is the Southern summer. Just amazed that it isn't hotter here yet.

This run was hard. Harder than it should be, is what it felt like. I felt so dang slow!!! In reality I don't think I was, but in my mind I keep forgetting I've missed out on a month of running and I can't expect to be faster than I was in march. Ah well. The hard work was worth it, I feel pretty good now. Stretched and iced my back to keep it happy too.

May 4th - Sweaty Me

Yep, I'm sweaty even though you can't really tell. This is right after finishing the 4 miles. I get ridiculously red faced when I run.

Headed out to run some errands. Got a $10 off for Dicks Sporting Goods so I think I'll pick up a pair of running shorts. I only have one pair that I really like, and that sweaty Southern hell summer is coming...

So far so good..

I must sound like a crazy person, but I'll come out and say it: I LOVE BEING SORE!!!

Now that I'm several months into this fitness quest, I've really become addicted to it. Today my arms were sore from yesterday's workout and I loved it. Most people complain about being sore, and don't get me wrong, I still do when I am really really sore. But on days when I'm just sore enough, I actually enjoy the feeling. It makes me feel kind of alive, I guess.

Day 2 of being active once again went well. I just ran 2 miles around my neighborhood, typical weekday after work run. Pace was about 8:30. It wasn't easy, but I always push myself when I run. Afterwards I took a walk around the neighborhood with the husband and dog. My back isn't hurting any more or any less than it has been lately. It's a bit sore, but I think my chair at work is the culprit more than running is. I've always had lower back issues whenever holding an office job. I think the reason I feel the pain more than I used to is because I'm running now and moving that area alot more. At least the pain isn't as bad as it was a few weeks ago. I just have to keep getting treatment, icing it, and stretching that area.

It feels great to be exercising again. During the weeks when I wasn't active, I definitely felt more restless, stressed, anxious, and jittery. Like I had a bunch of pent up energy. Yet at the same time I didn't feel as mentally alert and focused as I do when I am exercising regularly. I've felt great these past 2 days, which is helpful because things are crazy at work right now and I need all the energy I can get!

I did weigh myself this morning and I was happy to find that I didn't really gain any weight this whole time! My lowest ever weight before all this mess was 158.8, and this morning I was 159.4. And my waist was 29", previously 30". Some of the weight lost is probably muscle - I read somewhere that muscle loss happens before fat loss. I am expecting to gain some weight again as I begin to build my muscles back up, but I know the fat will come off in time and I will lose again. Besides, I'm right about where I want to be, just hoping to lose like 3-4 more lbs. Arms and belly, I'm lookin at you!!!

Finally, this!

May 2 - Hydration

Day 2 of the photo challenge. I love my Camelbak water bottle. Hydrate or die - how badass is that? Then I have a Camelbak pack. It's technically my husband's Army issued pack. But I used this when I ran the Xterra Hickory Knob. Since it was 7.2 miles with no water stations on the trail, I needed hydration and decided to carry this. It was a bit overkill - heavy and sloshy, but definitely better than going without. Eventually I want a smaller pack and a hydration belt. Having options is good

Also on hydration - wanted to share what I do for my water. Hypoglycemic athletes like myself face alot of challenges with maintaining blood sugar during activity. So I have to have a sports drink/Gatorade/carbs/SUGAR! or what have you any time I exercise for more than 30 minutes. At least that's what my dietitian said, I can go longer than that. And since I'm trying to eat natural and clean for the most part, I ditched the artificially flavored/colored 'Ade's and instead began making my own sports drink. It's super simple!

Homemade All Natural Sports Drink

1/4c honey (raw if possible)

2 quarts water

Juice of 1 lemon

A few shakes of salt

Boil up some water (just enough to melt the honey), throw the other stuff in, and stir well. Presto! I keep a pitcher of this in my fridge at all times. I've found it keeps for about a week. Usually I will dilute mine with half water since it's not a goal of mine to drink a bunch of sugar. I just need enough to keep my blood sugar up. But when I drink it full strength it kind of tastes like lemonade to me! And I can feel good knowing I'm not poisoning myself with Gatorade!

Once again, bedtime. The plan is 4 miles on saturday morning

I'm back baby!!!

After an entire MONTH off, I (hope) I can safely say - I'm back!

First it was my lower back issues. Then, just as I was finally starting to see some signs of relief, I got one mother of a cold.

My husband got it on a thursday, and I didn't get it until 5 days later on tuesday. I don't get sick often at all, so I'd like to think I have a pretty awesome immune system... but I guess after 5 days of being around him constantly I succumbed to it. That cold was baaaad. Missed a day of work because I came down with a fever and just generally had no strength to do anything but lie down, then ended up with some really bad congestion and headaches. Now it's a week later and I still have some congestion and stuff to cough up.

I'm just gonna write april off. Was not the best month for me. But I started may off with a good workout, and hopefully my back will cooperate me as I get back into fighting shape

Today I was kind of eager and tried to bite off more than I could chew. I wanted to do all the things - so I did 20 minutes of arm/total body work and then a 1 mile run. That 1 month off, I definitely felt it tonight. I tired myself out quick because I go at a good pace when I do my strength training. What would have been moderate for me before all this mess was actually pretty challenging for me tonight. So I only ran 1 mile instead of my planned 2 miles. I was able to do it in 8:55, and I wasn't necessarily trying to go fast, so at least my speed hasn't suffered too much. I also did back stretches at the end. Right now I'm not in any more or less pain than I have been all day. Really I think what hurts it the most is sitting in my chair all day at work.

Tomorrow I plan on doing 2 miles, then strength work friday, and maybe a 3-4 mile on saturday. Just gotta play everything by ear and see how I feel.


In other news... I'm going to be doing this for may;

I saw this over at My Road to Health and really liked the idea. She's doing hers on Instagram, but I don't have one so what I will do is just post my pictures here. Not every day though, will probably just group them.

Here's my first one

May 1 - Workout Tunes

I like death metal. It's mainly what I listen to, but I also like rock, country, and even the occasional rap song.  The only thing I am not really into is pop. But really, if I hear a song I like, I like it and will listen to it again and again. My running playlist is alot of death metal. Bloodbath, Amon Amarth, Bolt Thrower, Dimmu Borgir, Morbid Angel, Decapitated,  Arch Enemy, Lamb of God, Devildriver, etc. Also on there is some 2000's era rock, songs from the Spartacus soundtrack (drum beats!!!!), and even a couple Tech 9 songs thrown in. I just put it on shuffle and go. Today started off with Arch Enemy - Nemesis. 

Time to get ready for bed and another day tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to getting back on track and working out full time again. Just praying to all the gods in this world that nothing else holds me back now!