Some confessions

It's been a busy week. For good reason, though.

Let's get up to speed on recent events here.

I have my personal trainer cert and was working at a gym for a little while. Things didn't work out very well for me. Training itself was alot of fun, however it was all free sessions where I only made $8 an hour. Getting them to sign up for $45 half hour PT sessions is hard. I tried my best to show the value of training during the free sessions. Some of them even scheduled future sessions with me, but then they would all call and cancel later. I dunno. Trying to sell training is awkward and people aren't very receptive to it. I didn't get any enjoyment out of the experience as a whole so I left.

I'm glad I have my cert and plan to keep it current because who knows, maybe one day I will revisit this. For now I think I need more real world experience to grow my confidence.

So Monday I started my new job at Road Runner Sports. Um, working at a running store? Yes please!!! Their hiring process is really selective, but out of my group interview with 7 other people I was the only one selected so I feel proud about that. This is a great company, very unique and fun. I have been training all week and the training program is top notch. I am looking forward to all I have to learn, I expect this job will be fast paced, upbeat and fun, I get to be a part of others' fitness journeys, plus I totally get to geek out about running stuff. I have learned so much more about running and SHOES! Including what shoes I *should* be in - more along the lines of a traditional running shoe as opposed to my minimalist ways. Discounts on shoes and fitness stuff!!! This job is part time so I still have plenty of time for workouts, cooking, housework, cuddle time with kitties, etc. My full time job in Georgia made me feel like I had no free time, so this is gonna be a nice balance.

I'm thankful to have found a job that I'm much more comfortable at. And I think I will learn alot here.

As a result of said new job... I may have slept in a couple days and missed my workouts. But I made up for all of it except for 1 run. Eating habits... quite bad. Once I get into my routine that should get easier though.

Tomorrow is long run day, once again on the TREADMILL. Ugh. We've had unmelting snow and ice all over the place so I dare not risk the trails. Can't wait for spring and no ice on the trails.

Mistakes were made

It's long run day. And it's also a snow day. They were saying the snow would start around 1, but I wasn't taking any chances so I got to the gym for my long run hoping to beat the snow. Well I didn't, but more on that later.

I'm here today to tell you that sitting in the sauna the day before you run 7 miles in an indoor/warm environment may not be the best idea.

That run was not good. I had a pounding headache halfway through it and I was overheating like crazy. Side note - why am I the ONLY runner in the gym that turns fire truck red and sweats like a .. fire hose? Seriously. The girls on either side of me look perfect and I look like a character off Walking Dead. I'd like to think it's cause I am working harder than anyone else, but that's probably just wishful thinking!

This is what I looked like.. 15 minutes AFTER finishing my run. With some snow on the side!

But I did all 7 miles despite feeling like shit. Never again will I use the sauna on Fridays.
I'm also starting to think I need to eat more before these long runs. I used to eat a bigger breakfast but right now I'm in a fat loss cycle so I am more careful about how much I eat, especially when it comes to carbs. I eat oatmeal before all my workouts but on days when I am running long distances that just isn't gonna cut it. Bigger breakfast next time, roger that.

It started snowing before my run was even finished, and by the time I got on the road the traffic was starting to get backed up and people were sliding all over the road. It was coming down hard enough to be a whiteout at times. Quick change of plans - drop by the store really quick, then get my post run lunch to go. Traffic was terrible, took me 40 minutes to make a 5 minute drive and I had to backtrack just to get moving. I'm just glad me and my car made it home okay.

There's supposed to be a road down there somewhere.

It's been coming down heavy all day and ice is supposed to fall tonight. I go nowhere!

Spirituality and Fitness

Warning, religious stuff ahead.


Yesterday I realized it's been 10 years since I found Asatru and realized it was the right faith for me. For lots of reasons. I remember questioning Christianity as early as age 8. As I got older I realized it wasn't doing anything for me. I felt no spiritual connection to any of it. So in December 2004 I discovered and chose Asatru. It is closest to the ways of my ancestors. I am half German, my family can be traced back to the Frisians who believed in the same gods. My mother taught me to love and respect nature, and while she is a Christian herself she admitted to me that she believes God is all around her, in nature. This is a very pagan belief and it's one I resonate with much more than the traditional idea of god/s.

Early on after I had found Asatru I was always studying it and learning more about the lore, practicing rituals, meditating, working with runes, celebrating holidays, etc. Over the years I have become pretty lapsed. I rarely do that stuff anymore, though I do have an altar and every now and then I'll need a "moment" with my gods and ancestors. I have developed a very relaxed attitude towards religion in general. I have shifted more towards the attitude my mother has, that the gods are all around us. So what I am these days is closer to Animism I suppose. The most spiritual I feel is when I am outside.

Within the past year I have realized something else. Being active is one of the main ways I practice my faith. My workout time is mine alone. I can clear my mind. In a way I even devote my workouts to the gods. I give my energy as a form of sacrifice. I am inspired by the gods and the stories, to be strong and never give up.

I feel that by doing what I do, I become closer to the gods and to living Asatru. It's all about being the BEST person you can be, every day. I become stronger, develop willpower, become more self reliant, practice discipline, work hard, and increase resilience. I have a strong sense of primal-ness to me. My whole life, part of me has wanted to live in a simpler place and time. Get rid of all this modern stuff. Being active helps me achieve that sense of primal human living. That we are meant to use our bodies - strong, functional bodies. Not just sit around and watch tv all day, using pills and surgeries to keep us alive. We should be healthy and ready for any challenge.

I may no longer practice Asatru as formally as I once did. But I have realized faith is different for everyone, and this is what mine is. It's the feeling I get when I run through the forest...the air moving against my body, the smells of the woods, the ground beneath my feet, the trees, light, and sky. It's my heart pumping and sweat dripping down my temples. Running up hills, through fields. Lifting weights brings out the modern day warrior in me. Obstacle racing is a chance to connect with the primal - running, climbing, jumping, swimming, carrying huge rocks and logs, crawling through mud, etc. All of this is my connection to the divine. 

In Asatru, the body is an actual PART of the soul, it's not some detatched entity. I express my gratitude for what I have been given by using it to it's fullest. This is how I honor my gods and ancestors.

QALO Ring

I've been married almost 5 years (wow, already?)
My wedding was not a huge affair. We didn't have alot of money, he was about to join the Army, only had a few months to prepare, and truth be told I don't like extravagant weddings anyway. I wanted it to be outside, and I maybe wanted a tent with some tables and chairs for everyone and some fresh flowers for decoration. That's about it. What it ended up being in the interest of time, money, and simplicity was us going to get our certificate at the court house, then heading up to a local park where the two of us loved to spend time hiking and kayaking. A few family members met us up there on a beautiful day in July and we had our ceremony on a balcony overlooking the lake. We wore clothes we already had, I made a bouquet with wildflowers from my yard, then at night we had everyone come to our house for a big pot luck and cake. It was perfect and I wouldn't have done it any other way.

Now about our rings... we didn't have thousands of dollars to spend on wedding rings. My husband is a simple guy. Inexpensive yet durable titanium band for him. My ring was a bit harder to figure out. At first I told him I'd like a sapphire ring thinking it would be cheaper than a diamond, plus it's my birthstone. Nope. Still freaking expensive. The solution came in the form of his mother's old ring from when his parents were still married. I didn't know this at the time but she had given them to him when he was 10 and told him to give them to the girl he marries. He didn't lose them or anything, I was impressed. So they have essentially turned into a family heirloom because we plan on giving them to our nephew when he gets older.

The problem is, I lift weights. I don't take off my rings unless I'm obstacle racing. So I noticed they were starting to get pretty banged up. What to do... I got them buffed and cleaned up last week (Pro Tip - stores like Zales will charge you out the ass and take a month to get it done, go to the little jewelry repair shop owned by the Asian couple - pay half the price and be out in 30 minutes)

And I ordered myself a QALO ring. I had heard about these some months ago. It's a rubber wedding band for people who do stuff that might damage an ordinary ring. Lifters, outdoorsy folk, whatever. They are only 15 bucks and it's something I can wear to the gym or an OCR and not scuff up my nice ring.

I tried it out at the gym yesterday and it worked great! Very comfortable, didn't get in the way when I was holding weights or anything. This is the same size as my wedding rings (6) and so far I'm not noticing any issues with the fit.

Here's the stuff it came with. To the left is a little carrying case with a clip on, very nice indeed.

I'm really glad I picked this thing up and wish I had done it sooner. Now I can preserve my family wedding ring from unnecessary damage and hopefully keep it beautiful for a long time.

Ashamed!

Not gonna lie, I feel pretty guilty right now. Last week I got way way off track with my eating. I ate bad like 2-3 times in addition to my cheat day. I could blame it on anything but the truth is there wasn't really an excuse. Right now I feel fat as hell and like all my progress has gone out the window. I really need to stick to my plan throughout the week. And I realized I'm kind of going overboard on my cheat day so I'm going to tone that down as well.


I did have myself a nice leg day. Split squats are the devil though.


And I had kind of a weird but good encounter at the grocery store. A big bearded guy in his 40's or 50's asked me about my jacket. I was wearing my workout jacket as I had just come from the gym, a black Under Armor jacket that I got at the outlet in Williamsburg. It was on the sale rack for 30 bucks and it's like a 70 dollar jacket, so I picked it up and I have been living in this thing. I couldn't tell him the name of it, just that it has a silver zipper all the way up and it has a logo on the back of the neck. I moved my hair aside to show him - weird moment, he touched my hair.... to get a better look at it ... ehhh. But he was pretty much trying to find a jacket for his older daughter (he had a daughter with him too) who was into all kinds of sports but has a larger upper body build like me. Apparently hers is so bad they actually have to cut her shirts at the armpit. I have never had it that bad, but in the past I usually had to buy XL shirts just to fit my chest only to be swimming in the stomach area. It's better now that I have lost some weight, my jacket is a M and fits like a glove. I told him it's all about finding what types of clothes work for your shape, and that when his daughter is ready UA also makes a really good front zip sports bra - since I can't get the traditional sports bra over my shoulders. The guy said he has talks with her every week about her body image. I said to tell her she's not the only girl out there with broad shoulders and chest, even though sometimes it can feel that way. I know I feel like I'm the only one. I'm glad I could help them out a little, the guy was creeping me out a bit cause he was checking out my figure obviously, but he was really nice and trying to help his kid who is obviously struggling with her body image. I have never looked like any of the other girls out there, and embracing that fact can be tough at times. But that's a big part of why I do what I do, to enhance my strengths (upper body) and improve my weaknesses (lower body)

Speaking of which, my legs and butt are beginning to catch up.... but I'm definitely more top heavy.

Faster and Longer

Today's long run was one of those rare kinds. The kind where you don't feel so good going into it, but in the middle of it you suddenly feel great and have tons of energy. Well, sort of... aside from my lower back hurting it turned out to be a great run

This is my longest AND fastest long distance run since my return to running. I looked at my runs from a year ago when I was training for the Augusta Half. My memory made it seem like I was much faster back then, up until I started running trails. But really I wasn't. Last years runs were about the same, if not slightly slower. Plus they were all at the Canal which was totally flat. There are a few inclines and hills on my current route.

It was butt ass cold outside, I seriously didn't warm up until halfway through this run. Afterwards I braved the cold again to grab some very satisfying lunch at Panera - they have amazing tomato soup, I didn't know that! Then I came home and took a hot bath. Glorious!

I was way off track with my eating habits last week. I can't let it get like that again. Good news is I lost an inch off my waist at it's narrowest point. My measurements are so weird - 41, 30, 37. It seems I am meant to have good upper body strength because that's how my build is. My tummy at its widest point is just under 33. I'd like to see if I can get my waist to 29 or 28. That would be a first for me!

Side note - I don't like that awkwardness when you wave at a passing runner and they don't wave back or even look at you. Don't be dicks, just smile or wave! Being out there is awesome and that's my little way of saying "Good for you for being awesome!" Most of them do at least wave. I guess a few are just grumpy runners.

New Running Experiences

Today my run got interesting.

First off, I hurt my back a little bit this week. It's nothing serious, just very sore so I took rest days on tues/wed. For the past month I have been working out 6 days a week, so to have 2 days of doing absolutely nothing felt like an eternity. And I felt it on today's run. It was one of those runs where my whole body just felt stiff, everything hurt, etc.

But something cool happened. About 10 minutes into my run it started to snow! They weren't calling for any snow and it went away as soon as I finished my run, but I got to run in it for the first time ever. It was very pretty and added something special to my otherwise sucky run. The downside is it made it hard to see, especially when sprinting during my intervals. Also it was very windy which made the run that much harder. Looking back on it though, it was good. Good to get back out there and push myself after a whole TWO days off... lol... swear it felt like 2 months...

Also in the realm of new running experiences, I forgot to mention that last month I ran my first ever virtual 5k. The Battlefrog obstacle race series put one on which included a shirt, medal, and 25% off a Battlefrog race which I am totally doing this summer. This was not my best 5k, I remember having very sore and tired legs that day. My watch also crapped out on me for the first time ever, it got stuck around mile 2. I use my watch as a way to motivate me, like "Crap you're going slow, GO FASTER" but I did not have that so I went off of feel alone. At the end it did tell me I finished in 29:55, definitely not my best time but I can say I gave it a good effort. And I love my swag, especially the shirt!

After today I can truly say this about myself

Tomorrow's gonna have to be an all upper body day at the gym to make up for lost workouts. It is gonna be amazing.

I am finalizing the planning of my 2015 races, which is going to include a race in my hometown of Williamsburg, VA when I go for a family visit in April. I have never run a race in my hometown. Plus I haven't run a non virtual 5k race in over a year and I've been itching to run another to see where I stack up. Beating my PR of 25:41 might be a tall order to fill but that is my goal. My mom will come along and experience a race for the first time too. Going to also convince my husband to run a 5k or an easy OCR with me such as a Warrior Dash. Getting the family involved in 2015.. !

The Big Lifts - Goals and PR's

I have been lifting for a little while now. I am more experienced now and I'm at the point where I know what I want from it. Up until now I've been essentially following a hypertrophy/bodybuilder scheme, meaning 2-3 exercises per muscle and 3 sets of 10-12 reps. It's good for building muscle size, burning fat, and increasing strength. However I have decided I want to get really strong. See how much I'm capable of lifting. Hit some big PR's. So here's what I am doing now. 

Big lift of the day - one of the following

Squat, Deadlift, Bench Press, Barbell Row (maybe also Overhead press)

5 sets of 5

This is all out as much weight as I can lift.

The rest of that day's workout will be accessory work... maybe 2 more exercises for each muscle group following that bodybuilder format of 3x10, core work, etc. Or just whatever the hell else I wanna do.

I haven't trained like this before, and I'm still relatively new to the big compound lifts because I didn't work on them much before now. The squats and deadlifts are leaving my back and traps pretty sore but I think that is just cause I'm still new to them. 

Here are my starting stats for each lift, all 5x5

Squat - 115 

Deadlift - 115 (tried 135 but could only get 2 reps)

Bench - 85

BB Row - 65

My goals for now are to Squat and Deadlift over 200 and Bench 135. 

Monday is my leg day so I'm alternating squats and deadlifts each week. Today was a deadlift day and I found this right here to be 100% truth....

I think the girl next to me was a little disturbed. Sorry I'm not sorry. 

He runs too!

Today has been awesome!

Last night my husband and I were watching a movie and got onto a discussion about all things fitness related. At some point he mentioned he wanted to try and start running again. It's been 2 years and 3 foot surgeries since he last ran. I asked if he would run with me in the morning. My plan was 7 miles so I figured I'd just run with him and then head back out to make it 7. The idea of running with him had me so excited!

Shoes - out of all the shoes out there, hes in Vibram Five Fingers. He had a pair waaay back in the day (back before it was cool!) and has always favored minimalism like me. He needs to mid strike, can't heel strike and needs to try and avoid toe striking. This shoe would promote mid or toe striking. But what it really came down to was all the other shoes he tried on had bulky stitching or straps that ran across the side of his feet and would cut into where his surgery scar is. He liked these because they are comfortable for him and not restrictive.

Honestly I had low expectations for him. Because he can hardly walk or stand for long periods of time without his feet, knees, or back hurting, I figured maybe he'd be able to go half a mile. Whatever he was capable of doing, I supported it. So we took everything at his pace. I checked in with him often to see how everything was feeling, make sure he wasn't in pain and such. After awhile I could see it was becoming challenging for him on a cardiovascular level. This is all too common with people who haven't run in a long time. But he kept going. At the one mile mark he stopped for a moment and then we turned around. Towards the end of the run he was complaining about his hip and knee. I kept asking if we needed to walk. Nope, kept pushing until the very end. He ran 2 miles! Then he promptly collapsed on the side of the trail to catch his breath and rest for a few minutes. I remember that feeling all too well. Not having that high level of cardiovascular fitness makes it really tough.

I'm so proud of him for running 2 miles! It wasn't fast and it wasn't easy, but he never quit. He surpassed all my expectations. Later I found out he chose 2 miles for a reason, it's the distance the Army runs for their PT tests. It means alot to him because running kind of haunted him during most of his time in the military.

I snapped this picture of him. He hates having his picture taken and never smiles, but he's been in a great mood ever since the run. I'm so happy he did this and we hope to make this a Saturday thing. Recovery might be tough with all his various injuries, but I hope he gets stronger so he can keep doing it. It makes me feel awesome inside to be part of it.

Also - OREOS.

These are amazing. You know they're really bad for you when they come in a smaller package. But seriously. Get them.

My husband did what?

Had to share this moment from last night ...

My husband has trouble falling asleep at night. It's nothing new and he has taken sleeping meds for a long time, however with the recent move comes changes in insurance, doctors, etc. So his new doctor gave him some other sleeping medicine for whatever reason. It's not cutting it so they are shipping a stronger medicine to our house. In the meantime he's struggling pretty bad with falling asleep. He's taken up a habit that I do not like at all, which is drinking a couple shots to help him sleep. My father has been a lifelong alcoholic and it's nearly killed him a few times, and now one of my brothers is going down this same path, so this is NOT cool in my book. I realize he needs to sleep and I know it's temporary, but there's always that part of me deep down that worries about it becoming habit. I'm trying to be cool about it and wait until his stronger medicine comes in.

Anyway.

Last night was funny. My husband was searching our kitchen for mixers. He had planned to use 151 rum and didn't relish the idea of shooting it without some kind of mixer. But we have nothing in the house. No soda, juice, or sweetened drink of any kind, short of me making some iced tea (southern girl can't live without it!) and we might've had a couple hot chocolate packets somewhere. So he takes my BCAA and asks me if I think it would make a good mixer. Uh, HELL NAW. My BCAA powder is a sports drink with all the essential amino acids. I sip it before, during, and after my workouts because it preserves muscle/reduces muscle loss, improves recovery post workout, and improves workout performance. This is it right here.

Cellucor Alpha Amino BCAA's, lemon lime flavor. 

He could have probably done better with my preworkout which is strawberry margarita flavor... but that wouldn't exactly help him get to sleep.

It's sugar free, so it has that artificial sugar aftertaste and I knew full well that it would NOT make a good mixer. Nevertheless, he mixed some up and added 2 shots of 151 to make this awful yellowish brown cloudy drink. He knocked it back and instantly started yelling and groaning in disgust. Cupped his hand over the sink I was using and shoveled water into his mouth to get rid of the taste. Wow. Only my husband...

So tired

I'm happy to say I'm back to heavier lifting again. The past 2 weeks were a fun experiment full of box jumps, burpees, snatches, and medicine ball slams. But I missed the big lifts too much. So I'm back to it. It's kind of leaving me feeling wiped out though. On my lifting days I get super tired 2-3 hours after my workout. On Monday I literally spent 5 hours at the VA hospital with my husband and I was falling asleep in my chair which called for emergency Starbucks. I chalked it up to back squatting and the boringness of waiting in the VA, but today I got sleepy again! It sucks! And it is probably because I am keeping my carbs relatively low. Female weight lifters can consume 200-300 grams of carbs per day but I have been trying not to go over 150. Today I did finally cave in to some carbs, I had bought some bagel chips for my husband to snack on and I ate like 10 of them. They are crazy good and I can't have them anywhere near me.

I love the fact that my gym has this

I added this to my back workout today. The second to the last rung got me, it goes from a low bar to the highest bar and I swear it's like a foot in height difference. By the time I get to it I don't have the strength left to reach that high. One day it will be mine.

My gym also has a sauna and today I decided to sit in there for awhile. During which time the power in the entire gym went out. Is it weird that I kind of liked sitting in the sauna in the dark?